The cue card
Describe a time when you disagreed with someone.
You should say:
- who you disagreed with
- what the disagreement was about
- how it ended
and explain how you felt about the disagreement.
You have one minute to make notes, then speak for one to two minutes.
Band 8–9 sample answer
Written by Abroadway as a model of natural, high-band speaking (not an official IELTS sample).
I'd like to talk about a disagreement I had with a lab partner while I was on an exchange semester in Kuala Lumpur a couple of years ago.
Her name was Wei Ling, and we'd been paired up for a research project on the water quality of a few urban streams. She was incredibly organised, and for most of the semester we got on brilliantly.
The disagreement came up about a week before our deadline. We'd collected samples from five sites, and the results from one of them were completely out of line with the others; the pollution levels were far lower than we'd expected. Wei Ling was convinced that something must have gone wrong with those samples, so she wanted to leave them out of the report altogether, because they made our conclusions look messy. I understood her reasoning, but I felt strongly that we couldn't just delete data because it was inconvenient. In my view, that would have been a kind of dishonesty, even if nobody intended it that way. We went back and forth about it for a whole evening, and things got rather tense.
In the end, we agreed to ask our supervisor, which, in hindsight, we should have done straight away. She suggested we go back to that site and take fresh samples. The new results were much closer to the others, so there probably had been a problem with the originals. We included both sets of data in the report and explained the discrepancy, and we actually got a very good mark, partly because of that discussion.
As for how I felt, at the time I found it really uncomfortable, because I hate conflict and I didn't want to damage our friendship. But looking back, I'm glad I stood my ground politely. It taught me that you can disagree with someone you respect without it becoming personal, and we're still in touch now.
Useful phrases from this answer
- got on brilliantly
- had a very friendly, easy relationship
- out of line with
- very different from what is normal or expected
- went back and forth
- argued or discussed repeatedly without deciding
- in hindsight
- when thinking about it later, with more understanding
- stood my ground
- refused to change my opinion under pressure
- agree to disagree
- accept that you have different opinions and stop arguing
- common ground
- opinions or interests that both sides share
- taking sides
- supporting one person or group against another in an argument
Part 3 follow-up questions and answers
What do family members usually disagree about?
In my experience, a lot of family disagreements revolve around money, education and lifestyle choices. Parents and children often clash over things like career paths, how much time is spent on phones, or what time teenagers should come home. In Bangladesh, marriage can be a big source of tension, since some parents still expect to have a strong say in who their children marry. Between siblings, it's usually smaller things, like sharing a room or household chores. I think many of these disputes come down to the generation gap; older family members tend to value security and tradition, while younger ones want more freedom to make their own decisions.
Is it always a bad thing for people to disagree?
Not at all. In fact, I'd argue that disagreement is often healthy and even necessary. When people challenge each other's ideas, weak arguments get exposed and better solutions tend to emerge. A workplace where nobody ever disagrees with the boss, for example, is likely to make poor decisions, because problems are never raised. Disagreement also shows that people feel free to express their views, which is a sign of trust. The problem isn't disagreement itself but the way it's handled. If it turns into personal attacks or people refuse to listen, it becomes destructive, but a respectful disagreement can actually strengthen a relationship.
How can people disagree with each other politely?
I think the key is to focus on the issue rather than the person. Instead of saying 'you're wrong', it's much more constructive to say something like 'I see it slightly differently' and then explain why. Listening properly is equally important; if you let the other person finish and show that you've understood their point, they're far more likely to listen to yours. Tone of voice and body language matter a great deal too, because even reasonable words can sound aggressive if they're delivered angrily. And sometimes the most polite thing to do is accept that you won't reach an agreement, and simply agree to disagree.
Why do people often argue more online than they do face to face?
I'd say the main reason is that the internet removes many of the social cues that keep us polite. When you're talking face to face, you can see the other person's reactions, and it's much harder to be rude to someone who's looking at you. Online, people are often anonymous or at least distant, so they feel less accountable for what they say. Written messages are also easy to misread, because there's no tone of voice to soften them. On top of that, social media platforms tend to reward strong, provocative opinions with more attention, which encourages people to take extreme positions rather than look for common ground.
What skills do leaders need to settle disagreements between groups?
First and foremost, I think they need to be good listeners and be seen as genuinely impartial, because neither side will trust a leader who seems to be taking sides. They also need strong communication skills, so they can explain each group's concerns in a way the other group understands. Patience is crucial as well, since conflicts between communities or organisations are rarely resolved quickly. A good leader looks for common ground and tries to find a compromise where everyone gains something, rather than declaring a winner and a loser. Finally, I'd say they need a degree of courage, because sometimes a fair solution will be unpopular with their own supporters.
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